Today marks the final day in the Spanish Christmas holiday calendar. Not content with eating too much on Christmas Day and drinking too much on New Year´s Eve, much of Europe has one final celebration up its sleeve: the Epiphany when the Reyes Magos finally arrived to pay homage to the baby Jesus. Although the Brits do not traditionally celebrate this day, as an ex pat, it would be churlish not to get involved! So as I sit here letting another big roast dinner digest, it gives me time to reflect on the Christmas period – particularly the tradition of making New Year´s Resolutions. So time for a little honesty.
• Did you make any New Year´s Resolutions?
• Six days later, have you stuck with them?
• If you haven´t, what do you think has gone wrong?
Of course, some big, life changing resolutions are really worth keeping: quitting smoking, going on a diet when you are overweight, and all resolutions are made with the very best of intentions but if you have fallen off the wagon, then it is decision time. Either:
A. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on the horse with strengthened resolve and determination.
B. Accept that you are good enough just as you are.
Despite the appearances of this blog post today, I am a huge fan of self improvement and New Year´s Resolutions and set my goals, not only on New Year´s Day, but also at other strategic points throughout the Year. But today’s post is about getting your mojo back and realizing that you are good enough just as you are. Here is a little excerpt from my book, “The Mother Tree,” which deals with the importance of self love and respect.
Love for Yourself
When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you like the person that stares back at you? Love is unconditional and that includes love for yourself. Before you can truly respect yourself then you have nothing to give to another and therefore it is imperative that you learn to fall in love with you. Only then, will you be able to see how important your role is on this planet and how you are worthy of giving and receiving love. Loving yourself is all about changing your beliefs and whilst this may seem difficult, beliefs are only thoughts that you have kept on thinking over and over again until they feel like they are true. We are brought up to believe that putting ourselves first is selfish, but on the contrary, we are of no use to others unless we value ourselves and feel worthy. This does not mean you have to be arrogant but simply that you have a quiet confidence in your value to this life that comes across in your demeanour. One of the best ways to feel self-love is to make peace with where you are. Accept that life is perfect right from where you stand and that you are on a perpetual journey which will never really be finished. This is what you came for and if you embrace it, you will find that you can truly love yourself.
There is no rule book for humans that says that you should be or act in a certain way, and the real joy of life is celebrating the differences between us. That´s what makes the world go round and by seeing the diversity in people and circumstances, helps us to choose what is right for us. This establishes our own leaping off point, so learn to accept yourself just as you are whilst also accepting others. Try not to worry about other peoples´ opinions of you. What other people think is a reflection of themselves and not of you. You should stay out of their business without judgment and expect the same courtesy from them. They are seeing you from their own perspective and you are never going to be able to please people all of the time. Don’t waste time trying to get everybody´s agreement on your opinion. Just enjoy the multiplicity of life and accept that you all are where you are, and where you are is perfect for you. Take a good look in the mirror at the magnificence that is you and be proud of how far you have come. You really are amazing and your presence in this life is more important than you can ever begin to imagine.
Everybody on this planet is perfect. You don´t need to do anything to make yourself any more perfect. You were born that way. It´s a bit like going to a concert put on by an infant school. Some of the singing is out of tune, one little boy is waving madly to his mother in the audience, one little girl is crying and two of the children have forgotten the words. But that is the beauty of the performance. It is these imperfections that make it perfect. It is these small things that you will remember when you get home and discuss the performance. You will tell your child just how wonderful and special they really are and you will mean it. In the same way, you are just perfect the way you are. No fine tuning required.
So by all means, make those New Year’s Resolutions. Growth and development are part of life but do so knowing that everything is working out perfectly and you are right where you should be in every moment. Happy New Year.